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Terry and Dani's haiku rule your ass.'s Journal
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Terry and Dani's haiku rule your ass.'s LiveJournal:

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Sunday, September 9th, 2001
11:09 pm
[terry]
work haiku
boss playing music
starts singing "all by myself"
i nearly lose it

frogs all underfoot
i could eat their tiny legs
but i hate french food

i want a twix bar
but it's behind a mounds bar
damn vending machines

making the night's rounds
office supply room unlocked
sharpie pens for all!
Tuesday, June 26th, 2001
4:05 pm
[danigolden]
i can't get comfy
my butt is so gigantic
envelopes the chair

20 ounce pepsi
i wish you were much bigger
i am still thirsty

don't raise your hand
you ask dumb questions, old hag
students roll their eyes

there's a girl in class
her shorts are very tiny
i can see her ass
(*note the unintentional rhyming there. heh)

those who can't do, teach
boy, i sure believe that now
after meeting you
Monday, June 25th, 2001
5:34 pm
[danigolden]
my philosophy teacher blows.

what did you ask me
i'm not paying attention
i'm writing haiku

your class sucks, teacher
could you do us a favor?
let us out early

same shirt every day
you sir, are a dirt miser
hey, buy some new clothes
6:58 pm
[terry]
dani writes haiku
seventeen syllables each
she's the haiku queen

beautiful tresses
gently draped over shoulders
egyptian plum rocks

beware ugly moths
she knows when you are coming
dani has mothdar

double D wonders
cradled in bras from frederick's
wu tang rock the house!
Sunday, June 17th, 2001
5:50 pm
[danigolden]
i just learned something
cooked spinach gives me the shits
boy, thanks a lot, god

i learned something else
i'm glad i'm not a mother
cause they get puked on
Thursday, June 14th, 2001
5:20 am
[terry]
Homer Simpson haiku
homer on the couch
drinks duff and watches t.v.
a true role model

doughnut jams controls
core meltdown destroys springfield
homer exclaims d'oh!

homer has work pals
lenny and carl are their names
carl is the black guy

vacuous bald dome
thoughts of only beer and pork
ignorance is bliss
Friday, June 1st, 2001
10:57 pm
[danigolden]
stupid commercials
interrupting iron chef
this pisses me off

Tuesday's my birthday
that's when my journey begins
*alcoholism




*alcoholism, another word that was meant for haiku, can you believe it has 5 syllables? Awesome.
7:57 pm
[danigolden]
So, these haiku are about Shishaldin, some indirectly...
I reserve the right to add more later.


KFC biscuit
explosive diarrhea
bung runneth over

while in Chinatown
buy Shishaldin a bag of
squid flavored peanuts

armed with a dildo
Shishie searches for a bung
then violates it

vaginal vortex
cavernous and hypnotic
lure in confused bear

do you like tennis?
there's a place i can think of
to keep your racket
1:00 am
[danigolden]
what is this bullshit
up all night being a dork
i can't sleep a wink

hamster on acid
so over stimulated
but he has no wheel
Sunday, May 27th, 2001
11:09 am
[danigolden]
gorgeous azaleas
exotics have no fragrance
but native ones do

coffee tastes so good
i just had a whole pot...black
my hands are shaking

my throat is so tight
these hiccups are too painful
someone please shoot me
Saturday, May 19th, 2001
2:20 pm
[danigolden]

though i still wear it
i don't look good in yellow
i like free t-shirts

it's so ironic
i grew up in orange county
but i hate theme parks

ugh, such a headache
advil is not helping much
pass the vicodin

cilantro flowers
look like tiny fireworks
but they don't taste good
Thursday, May 17th, 2001
8:04 am
[terry]
Fast Food haiku
tuesdays mean sonic
burgers full of salt and grease
hey my heart just stopped

went to mcdonalds
what's this in my mcnuggets?
a fried chicken head !?!

wilty vegetables
vomit colored special sauce
big macs are nasty

i'm very hungry
even arby's sounds good now
nope i'm just kidding
Tuesday, May 15th, 2001
4:38 pm
[danigolden]
My haiku writing ability is clouded by my hurt and anger.

you are an asshole
if i had never met you
i'd be happier

i don wan talk u
your idiocy astounds
you can't even spell

why did i say yes
you asked me to marry you
because i was blind

ignore me some more
to you i'm invisible
but i will creep up

silly little boy
don't underestimate me
now go look that up

before i am gone
there's one more thing you should know
you were bad in bed


Current Mood: enraged
Monday, May 14th, 2001
6:59 pm
[terry]
Chewie
ever read chewie?
it's even more shocking than
the weekly world news

cereal is good
i'm cuckoo for cocoa puffs
pink milk makes me wretch

i read chewie 8
dani went to hawaii
wally george didn't

chewie is tasty
but it's not for consumption
eat dani instead
1:13 pm
[danigolden]
Sid and Nancy on IFC

we're just sitting here
while the apartment burns down
how punk rock is that

courtney love looks sick
strung out and heavily drugged
bet that's not make-up

look how punk i am
my intimidating sneer
please buy my record

i'm the anti-christ
yes, i am an anarchist
i stabbed my girlfriend

lots of safety pins
studs on my leather jacket
this thing sure is hot
Sunday, May 13th, 2001
7:40 pm
[danigolden]
i went to the beach
i wish someone went with me
because it was cold

i'm afraid of fish
and sea creatures in general
especially crabs

why am i so pissed
oh wait, i think i know why
because i can't sleep

though nothing is wrong
i kind of feel like crying
curl up in a ball

i got a phone call
that kind of ripped my heart out
and then she hung up
Saturday, May 12th, 2001
7:03 pm
[danigolden]
suicidal tendencies

I am so depressed
my life sucks a big fat one
i wish i was dead

someone pass the poi
jump into a volcano
aloha to me

forty vicodin
going for a little swim
all in my stomach

would someone notice
if i jumped out the window
without any sound

oh boo hoo danielle
whining about your dumb life
why don't you shut up
Friday, May 11th, 2001
7:25 am
[terry]
Fight Club haiku
first rule of fight club
do not talk about fight club
well maybe just me

shoulders of strangers
unleash the torrent of tears
at last i slumber

knuckle in my eye
blood spurts from your broken jaw
we conquer the pain

enigmatic skank
morose train wreck of a girl
marla's a good fuck

fists fly in the dark
bodies harden into stone
no fear anymore

blow the buildings up
i really don't wanna live
on planet starbucks
Thursday, May 10th, 2001
5:02 pm
[danigolden]

raw in the middle
crispy around the edges
the perfect cookie

you're having a what?
i've outgrown slumber parties
what the heck, i'll go

my chrysanthemums
wilting in the gazebo
what is their problem

doughnuts are the best
if you don't like krispy kreme
i don't care bout you

my car runs on gas
it's two dollars a gallon
i need more money

there are ugly folks
polluting my tv screen
get them the hell off
2:11 pm
[danigolden]
Fight Club Moon Pie Haiku
Fight Club was on again last night, something possessed me to write a haiku.


moon pies are eaten
even the wrapper licked clean
terry is their slave
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